Greetings Shas, from your entry into this briefing you have proven to be some of the best the Empire has to offer.

The goal of today's briefing is to introduce you to the Cadre's Standard Operating Procedure, for here on to be referred to as SOP. Along side these procedures and regulations that will help you integrate properly into the Cadre, we will also be touching on your chain of command, well known Shas in this Cadre, and wargear and tactics you will be expected to master here among your new brothers.

Pay close attention to the details outline following this introduction, it could mean you or your fire team's life Shas'la!

--OPENING UPLINK TO DATABASE - AUTHORIZATION CODE: ****** --
--AUTHORIZATION CODE ACCEPTED. ACCESS GRANTED.--
--WELCOME COMMANDER--

--UNIT QUERY, DESIGNATION: 1ST ANUK'MYR EXPERIMENTAL CADRE--
--PROCESSING...--
--ACCESS GRANTED. DATA CLASSIFIED--
--WELCOME, COMMANDER.--

-- QUERY, CADRE COMPOSITION--
--PROCESSING...--

DESIGNATION: 1st Anuk'Myr Experimental Cadre
LOCATION: M'yen'Shi Enclave
COMMANDING OFFICER: Shas’O T’au M'yen'Shi Da’Korst [KIA]
OFFICERS: Shas’el Oros'Kais [KIA], Shas’el Ka'Thryn, Shas’Vre Yent'Lai [KIA], Shas’Vre Velio'Sha, Shas'Vre Jun'Kais, Shas'Vre Ev'Alyn, Shas’Vre Jun'Yin [KIA]
PERSONNEL: 0 Deployed Shas, 0 In Training, 0 Detached
CURRENT STATUS: De-Activated
CURRENT LOCATION: De-Activated

-- QUERY, PERSONNEL PROFILES--
--PROCESSING...--

--COMMANDER: Shas’O T’au M'yen'Shi Da’Korst "Reaper" [KIA] --
--COMBAT PROFILE.--
--QUERY IMAGE, FILE INCOMPLETE--
--DETAILS: Commander Da'Korst is well known among the Shas of the Enclave for a reserved and stern leadership, which hides a ferocity on the battlefield unmatched by his shas'el.
--MEDICAL READINESS: Da'Korst shows to have met all quotas for recovery following his extensive bionic reconstruction. All immunizations and checkups currently up to date. Note: Refuses to heed the suggestions by medical personnel to command from reserve, and consistently sustains further injury on the battlefield.
--MENTAL READINESS: Displays overly developed kindred feelings to his combat suit, perhaps in relation to his bionic reconstruction. Seems distant though still sharp of mind. Further attention recommended, though final conclusion is fit for duty.
--HISTORICAL RECORD: Da'Korst received top scores in the training domes on T'au before his recruitment to M'yen'Shi, and made it through all three trials in admirable time. Da'Korst has logged 2,487 Hours in his combat suit, 1,474 of them combat hours. Historical records account him for 213 confirmed kills during the campaign on the Imperial World of Vogen, as well as being missing in action on three separate occasions. The commander is currently the oldest and highest regarded member of the Enclave's ruling council, and leads the 1st Anuk'Myr. Da'Korst's last deployment was on a classified mission into Imperial Space in support of -Access Denied- where he was reported Killed in Action.

--EXECUTIVE OFFICER: Shas’el Oros'Kais "Firestorm"--
--COMBAT PROFILE.--
--QUERY IMAGE, FILE INCOMPLETE--
--DETAILS: Commander Oros'Kais was only recently promoted to 'El by Shas'O Da'Korst from the commander's personal retinue. As such Oros'Kais has proven a valuable commander during the campaign to Vogen.
--MEDICAL READINESS: All immunizations and checkups currently up to date.
--MENTAL READINESS: Oros'Kais seems eager to prove himself to his commander and the enclave, though his attention to caution would seem to make him entirely fit for duty.
--HISTORICAL RECORD: Oros'Kais received top scores in the training pits of the enclave before his recruitment the Anuk'Myr. Oros'Kais has logged 1,126 Hours in his combat suit, 503 of them combat hours. Historical records account him for 87 confirmed kills during the campaign on the Imperial World of Vogen. The commander is currently the executive officer and held in high regard by Shas'O Da'Korst. Oros'Kais' last deployment was on a classified mission into Imperial Space in support of -Access Denied- where he was reported Killed in Action.

--DUTY OFFICER: Shas’el Ka'Thryn "Starfire"--
--COMBAT PROFILE.--
--QUERY IMAGE, FILE INCOMPLETE--
--DETAILS: Commander Ka'Thryn was only recently promoted to 'El by Shas'O Da'Korst during the Vogen campaign. Unlike the other officers of the Cadre, Ka'Thryn was promoted in the field after her Shas'el was slain, and managed to pull the remaining pilots together and push through to friendly lines.
--MEDICAL READINESS: All immunizations and checkups currently up to date. Ka'Thryn recovering from her wounds, further observation of vitals suggested.
--MENTAL READINESS: Ka'Thryn seems reserved in her position and expresses concern over her reputation within the cadre. Though unsure of her own ability, her past performance deems her fit for duty pending medical clearance.
--HISTORICAL RECORD: Ka'Thryn received high scores in the training pits of the enclave before her recruitment the Anuk'Myr. Ka'Thryn has logged 1,003 Hours in her combat suit, 466 of them combat hours. Historical records account her for 92 confirmed kills during the campaign on the Imperial World of Vogen. The commander is currently the duty officer and held in high regard by Shas'O Da'Korst. Ka'Thryn last deployment was on a classified mission into Imperial Space in support of -Access Denied- where he was reported Missing in Action by Enclave Command.

--QUERY PROCESSING FURTHER ENTRIES--
--PROCESSING...--

INFO: The M'yen'Shi Enclave is a heavily fortified colony on the far reaches of the Damocles Gulf. Though it is a 'Farsight Enclave' the colony maintains a healthy supply of equipment and wargear that is more difficult for other Enclaves to obtain. It is widely publicized by the colony that this due to the high level of their Fio Caste, and factories churn out the gear of war as if it were a core world.

Little is known of the Enclave's inner workings. The colony is officially lead by a council of cadre commanders, headed by an enclave legend named Shas'O T’au M'yen'Shi Da’Korst. The majority of the Shas'el and 'O of the council are widely known to be directly loyal to Da'Korst himself, and some members of the colony grumble of favoritism being shown by the council. From what records have been intercepted by outsiders, the enclave also appears to be the jump off point for classified and far reaching operations. How an Enclave is able to support and launch such missions is questionable and many claim it is merely rumor and conspiracy theories gone wild.

What is known however is that the colony and it's expedition fleets have an unnatural interest in the Y'he, chasing hive ships near and far, and responding swiftly to reports of Genestealer cults on human worlds or infested space hulk sightings. The colony has eyes and ears all over the outer rim Rogue Traders, and the Shas'la of the M'yen'Shi can be found filtered among mercenaries across the lawless regions of space seeking allies and information from all sorts.

To that end, the 1st Anuk'Myr Experimental Cadre was formed to directly oversee operations of the highest sensitivity to the Enclave. Oddly enough the Cadre was assembled and is led by the aging Shas’O Da’Korst himself, adding even further weight to the training and pride of the Cadre.

Following the last deployment of the Anuk'Myr Hunter Cadres, the Enclave High Command has taken control of M'yen'Shi Enclave. Da'Korst's death has left a power vacuum that will likely be quickly filled by a O'Shovah supporter. For all intents and purposes, any link to the Empire has been pulled from this remote Enclave.

Cadre Census Entry

-----------------

I planned on making a project log to both share my work and to add further motivation toward my goals, as well as allow me to organize my thoughts and get feedback from the Tau community. Like those before me I guess it's a good idea to have goals set for the direction of the project:

1.) Get an army painted to tabletop worthy levels.
2.) Improve my painting and modeling skills.
3.) Depict a different side of the Tau using fluff and my conversion projects to bring it too life.
4.) Provide additional motivation to keep me painting.

I plan on adding more detail to my Cadre/Sept's background and I am sure the community here will be able to fill out my ideas with their expertise. It's my experience that more brains are better than one, and each person adds a certain 'feel' to any project. Thus I am more than willing and am indeed wanting input for background and fluff changes to better depict my Cadre/Sept.

I played Tau since 4th Edition, and was attracted to the Pathfinders and Firewarriors more than the tanks or suits, but as such I have always liked the Fluff and models of the Tau, and their play style fits my own. Thus I remain extremely fixed in my loyalty to the Tau Codex and all of it's glories. However I do like to fiddle with other armies and also love to build and paint their models as well. This has led to me looking at other armies to collect along side my Tau, but it seems almost treason to do so. Thus I have instead made several conversion armies with small background fluff pieces (some more complete than others) to bring them inline with the normal Tau fluff. For instance I wanted the infantry focus of the Space Marines, but hate their models and fluff... thus I set about making my own 'Tau Marines' which are basically counts-as Blood Angels using Tau models converted to better fit the rule set. Likewise I have a Tyranid counts-as army using both Tau and Nid models.

All of these conversions have effected the 'fluff' and feel of the Sept I have swimming in my mind and I hope by working on it here more openly the community can help me solidify it and bring it all to focus.

I am currently painting my models to meet the color scheme and basing standard I have set for this Tau army. My currently favorite model is the XV-9 Hazard here.

This XV-9 serves as my Shas'O T’au M'yen'Shi Da’Korst. Currently I am playing a campaign allowing for any model with a weapon skill to be fielded as a unique HQ option, and I selected the XV-9 for it's survivability. With the old unit XP rules and Battle Honors, he has gained abilities like BS5, enemy models cannot claim cover saves, and he can allocate wounds instead of the opponent. This earned him the name Reaper, which I went and added to his name. "Da'Korst" being a break down of Tau words I found on the lexicon meaning Dark Reaper. His twin phased ion guns wipe whole guard squads and he pretty much can route whole flanks of guardsmen on his own with proper use of JSJ. Though it is a Cities of Death campaign so there is a lot of LOS blocks I use to keep him out of return fire.

Anyhow, Fluff wise he would be an aging commander, one who is sharp of mind but growing more feeble of body for every second his short Tau life extends. I am not sure how Tau medical tech is currently portrayed, but I do know Tau have shorter life spans then humans. It does however say that Tau have use of bionics and such and I am wondering to what extent could a grim leader like Da’Korst extend his life span with the use of bionics and life support... I am thinking as close to a Dreadnaught type situation as possible without breaking the spirit of the Tau fluff. His personality is distant and grim and he is exceptionally ruthless toward human opponents, particularly the Space Marines, though I have not yet developed any real reason behind this vendetta. Any thoughts from the community to help develop Da’Korst's persona further would be appreciated. Once I get his persona more accurately pinned down I will start introducing more of my Sept's characters for input as well as models for those who have them, and ideas for conversions to depict those who do not have any.

First off, very nice first post. I love the artwork and the formatting! Now on to business!

I’m a little confused about the location of your cadre. You mention the M’yen’Shi Sept as being part of the Farsight Enclaves, yet your commander is a public supporter of the Greater Good and the Empire. There are several problems with this premise.

1.) The Enclaves and the Empire:
The Farsight Enclaves have broken off communication with the Empire at large. The Aun forbid other Tau from entering that space, making any direct and open communication with the greater Empire impossible. You describe them as being open supporters of the Empire and the Greater Good; something which Farsight would seem to view as second place compared to whatever ideology he has established.

Remember, we have no idea on what exactly is going on in the Enclaves. We have no solid ideas on how they are operated, organized or even their exact numbers.

2.) Sept Definition:
Septs are not planets or even just a solar system, but are a collection of worlds/systems. This definition is, at best a loose one. So the exact size can be up to interpretation. While the Enclaves have a significant territory, the idea that they have Septs of their own seems unlikely as there is a massive amount of industry and infrastructure needed to establish a full on Sept. I can see heavily defended worlds or regularly patrolled areas of space, but a full Sept requires a lot more bodies than the Enclaves really have. Also, for someone to be in charge of such a large amount of resources, they would need to be very loyal to Farsights cause; something which your commander doesn’t seem to have.

3.) Mercenaries:
Very cool concept! There have been several rumors of Enclave Firewarriors working as mercs, so I’m all for it (I’ve done something similar myself). But more on that later…

4.) Resources and Auxiliaries:
All we know about the Enclaves is that they are part of a large group of Tau (likely a Coalition) that were sent to reclaim the worlds lost during the Damocles Crusade. So while they have a lot of resources at their disposal, they don’t have nearly the resources to stay on par with the Empire as a whole. This can be reflected in Farsight “Break Away Faction” special rule which limits his ability to field a lot of equipment and also restricts him from using auxiliaries.

Auxiliaries like the Kroot need to return to Pech (their homeworld) regularly so they can share their genetic material, so it seems unlikely that they would be able to do so when they are faced with the inevitable Tau blockade that must be facing the Enclaves. Plus, the Tau don’t view them as completely trustworthy as it is, so any dealings with the Enclaves would make things sticky for the Kroot politically. As for the Vespid, they are loyal to the Greater Good, so it seems unlikely that they would side with the renegades. Now, I’m not saying auxiliaries CAN’T be in the Enclaves, it’s just that it would be difficult to make the well known ones fit. This can be supported by the special rule I mentioned above.

5.) Cadre’s Role:
This is a bit confusing. You say they handle operations of the highest sensitivity to the homeworlds. Well what homeworlds? The Empire or the Enclaves? This needs to be clarified in order to get a solid concept of what they actually do.

So you really have to choose: Empire or Enclaves? The Empire allows you access to the latest technologies, the most auxiliary races and the benefit of the resources at the Empires disposal. The Enclaves give you gritty veterans, limited and likely highly modified technologies and the need for caution when it comes to battle. The Enclaves have much more to lose when they fight, so they would likely favor guerilla tactics and use a more elite core of warriors since they don’t have access to the large number of recruits the Empire has.

Also, choosing the Enclaves allows you to delve deeper into what makes these rebels(?) tick. How are they organized? How do they get their equipment and manpower? How do they feel about the Empire? What is their goal in breaking away? All these questions can then be answered by you and you can make something that is truly unique. Of course, you may find the rug pulled from underneath you when the next codex comes out. They may really detail the Enclaves there, so be careful with how much you write! It would suck to have it all null and void once more background is inevitably revealed.

As for your commander, I like the idea of an aged and rugged Shas’O. Perhaps he hates the Space Marines since they killed his bond-mates? That would be a good reason in my book to want some payback! Did you read the rules for Shas’O R’alai (on the Forgeworld site)? His background seems to fit pretty well with what you want and may provide some good inspiration. As for extending lifespan, remember that they Tau stay young and healthy for a long time (relatively) before old age hits and then they die soon after. Unlike humans who age slowly over the course of decades, Tau are young and vibrant until only the last few years of their life. This short life is kind of a bummer, but remember that Tau only really need 1.5-3 hours of sleep a night, so think about how much extra time that gives them to do things compared to humans who spend about a 1/3 of their life sleeping. So the Tau do more with less, basically.

As for bionics, they Tau employ them, but nothing is stated about them being able to extend lives. Although it would theoretically be possible Just make the reason sound good.

Your model looks great, by the way! Nic conversion, nice painting, all around good. I too have a hard time breaking from my beloved Tau and I would be interested in seeing your other count-as armies. As for some other models and conversions, the Enclave theme would allow you to model new, mercenary xeno’s to count as various entries from the codex (let’s you get around the lack of Kroot and Vespid). You can also make some custom weapons and perhaps some battle damaged and/or unconventionally patched up XV8’s. This link to LordDirk’s pictures might be inspiring.

Looking forward to seeing more!

Thank you for the well thought out response, and all of your points are well made.

#2.) I show my ignorance in some of the more detailed areas of Tau fluff, and most of what I know comes from reading bits and pieces from other codexes and of course the Tau ones. From what I understood, a Sept was a planet or system that has been established as it's own cultural and economic center which separates it from the rest. Sort of how Germany, France, and Italy are all very different places, yet all of them are part of Europe. This was the assumption I went off of when assuming the establishment of a Sept was possible.

Also, correct me if I am wrong, but according to the 'official' timeline here on ATT...



Seeing as the newest date on the timeline is 999.M41 that is over 200 'years' after the establishment of the Farsight Enclaves. Perhaps my understanding of the 40k dates is leading to my confusion. However as you said, Tau live fast and hard, and 200 years is like 5-6 generations of Tau growth on the errant Enclaves. The development of a Sept is not entirely out of the question, especially if it is a smaller one just nearly gaining it's status. My Cadre's Census page says it was founded in 943.M41 and I personally believe that is more than a reasonable amount of time passed for such a faction to have risen.

#1.) The idea in mind for my cadre/Sept, was not open support or communication instead I was thinking of the Double Agent situation, where the Sept, or certain leadership within the Sept is feeding information back to T'au and the Aun Councils from the Enclaves. As a loyal island in the 'Enclave' regions the Sept would serve as the perfect staging ground for Empire black ops and less than public operations. Not only could the Tau launch strikes further into enemy space, they could do so with full deny-ability. Any raids or operations launched from the Sept would be seen as Enclave attrition or Tau mercs operating in the region which would give the Aun options other than standard forces.

While the 'sept' is in the Enclave area and operates within the wishes of the Enclaves, they secretly aid the Empire as much as possible without directly going against Farsight either. The leadership is in the situation of being torn. While loyal to Farsight and unwilling to abandon him, they also doubt his cause and still feel beholden to the Greater Good and the Aun. The fluff I wrote at the moment says that publicly they claim their Fio grant them the ability supply their forces as a full Sept, however the truth would be secret support from T'au. The connection to the rogue traders and the services as mercs would easily (as far as I understand it) allow for supplies and information to filter in and out of the Enclaves, more specifically to the M'yen'Shi 'Sept'. After all, the members of my 'sept' would have friends in all kinds of low places.

As to the ambiguity of the Enclaves, I realized this and that is why I do not directly mention how the 'sept' supports or functions with other members of the Enclaves. As I am not sure what the priorities of Farsight's faction is. Thus I focused on the 'important' part on how they are rebels within rebels by supporting the homeworlds. It must be stressed, the cadre/sept does not openly support T'au, nor go against the Enclaves, I just seem to have failed at hinting and need to work on my writing finesse. =P

#4.) You are correct. I did not actually think about the implications of having Vespid aux, they will need to be scratched. As to kroot, they operate as mercs to other races it is not difficult for an Enclave to have enlisted a merc kindred or two. Merc kroot no doubt head home as well, however merc kroot operate normally would allow them to just as easily operate within Enclave space. I plan on human aux also, which is easy enough to fit into the fluff.

On your point about the Enclave's original size. We know that Farsight was on a recolonization mission, which means there were likely multiple colony vessels and the required materials to setup the beginnings of full on colony worlds. While their forces would be limited, it would only be so much so that they are less willing to commit their valuable tanks and such, not so much that they do not have sizable numbers on hand. In either case, this resource is increased by silent support from the Aun back on T'au in return for the loyalty and support of Empire causes in the regions. Pretty much the 'sept' claims their Fio are amazing and producing stuff better than any other Enclave, when in fact they are simply on par but receiving smuggled equipment and supplies from more established Septs back in the core worlds.

#5.) Such a conspiracy could not exist with full knowledge of the entire 'sept' as it would quickly fall apart, thus the idea is that specific members in leadership roles are the 'traitors' to Farsight and communicating with the homeworld. My Shas'O would be the most obvious member of such a conspiracy, and as such leads the 1st Anuk'Myr himself. The cadre's role is the group of soldiers loyal to the Shas'O and in on the conspiracy who operate directly with Empire elements when in support of their operations. This would be more clear with the introduction of my other conversion armies, like my Tau Marines, and my Tau Tyranids.

--OPENING UPLINK TO DATABASE - AUTHORIZATION CODE: ****** --
--AUTHORIZATION CODE VOID. ACCESS GRANTED.--
--WELCOME COMMANDER--

--FILE QUERY, DESIGNATION: TWICE REMOVED: CHAPTER 1--
--PROCESSING...--
--ACCESS FAILED. DATA MOVED--
--CONNECTION CLOSING.--

well,.... that was an atmospheric read! Very nicely written, great use of fluff across the various expansions and a real sense of self... enjoyed reading that!

Now, bring more models out to play! lol

Warhound

Ah well my camera is charging as we speak so I will have some pictures up shortly.

Currently I am working on a conversion project to get some custom XV-15's built to represent Jun'Yin's team. But those are a good distance away.

So I will have my firewarriors, vehicles, and a few suits up for viewing soon I hope.

XV-15 Stealth Suits

Firewarrior Team

Pathfinders

The only kroot in my force atm.

XV-8 Team Leader

Devilfish

Command Tank


The lighting is weird in my barracks, yellow like, and the flash is not doing justice to the colors I have used because it is super imposing the highlights beyond what they appear to the naked eye. Almost looks like crayon highlights.

Maybe daylight will help...

Nevar, that was awesome! I have to agree with Warhound that it get very atmospheric. I am curious to know what the team is looking for and I am really interested in finding out more about the team themselves. Well done!

Great story! The oblivious little thing sounded adorable, somehow...
Loving those Fire Warriors.

Beautiful color scheme!

--OPENING UPLINK TO DATABASE - AUTHORIZATION CODE: ****** --
--AUTHORIZATION CODE VOID. ACCESS GRANTED.--
--WELCOME COMMANDER--

--FILE QUERY, DESIGNATION: TWICE REMOVED: CHAPTER 2--
--PROCESSING...--
--ACCESS FAILED. DATA MOVED--
--CONNECTION CLOSING.--

--OPENING UPLINK TO DATABASE - AUTHORIZATION CODE: ****** --
--AUTHORIZATION CODE VOID. ACCESS GRANTED.--
--WELCOME COMMANDER--

--FILE QUERY, DESIGNATION: TWICE REMOVED: CHAPTER 3--
--PROCESSING...--
--ACCESS FAILED. DATA MOVED--
--CONNECTION CLOSING.--

Wow, I am really liking this story so far. You have some cool elements involved and the story seems to be developing nicely. I only have a few little suggestions:


I Chapter 2, it seemed that this line or a variant of it, appeared a lot. I think it really only needs to be mentioned once.


The Tau don't really pray. Sio't Meditations are more common. They basically have similar intentions, but show the Tau's more secular/self reliant side.


"Do this thing," sounds a little out of place. Maybe, "Help us," would sound better.

Anyway, great story and some great models!

I could only locate one mention of thanks to the Fio in Chapter 2. I think you mean chapter 1?

The mention of prayer was re-worded to include sio't as suggested, much appreciated.

I can see how the sentence seems awkward, and so I modified it again. Only reason I do not use 'help us' is because it wold take away from the arrogant manner the trader captain needs to express. Asking for help is a humbling thing, telling someone to do something is an empowering thing, even if in that instance they are one and the same.

In an unrelated note;

I want to model the equivalent of a cloning vat and I am trying to think of a way to replicate the liquid filled glass tubes or perhaps bubbles. I work on aircraft and some of the larger bolts come with plastic sleeves that might serve as the glass tube, but what can I use to suspend a model inside the tubing that will make for believable liquid? Maybe the water effects they sell for basing? I am at a loss. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

I concur with Wolfs: Awesome.
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You have a wonderful way of setting the stage psychologically. The tension of skipping about an infested planet under cloak was well done, and your choice of third person limited-omniscient serves you well here. The fact that as readers we're alone with Jun'Yin makes it all the more chilling, and you draw us into his emotions very well. I particularly the little technical details you used: the photon grenades to dislocate the sound of the rail-round, and the Orca's photon discharge as it guns it out of there.

There are some grammar and style misfires that I wanted to point out:

• Watch out for your verb tenses. A couple times you pass from past tense to present and back again. You want past tense all the way through—or, more accurately, you want past tense as your base tense.
• "Sergeant" is spelled with two "e"s, not two "a"s.
• Occasionally, you use phrases a little too cavalierly. E.g. "The hum of the lift did little to calm his nerves, though as the din of the hangar fell away he felt slightly more at ease." You need something here to point out that the two clauses don't, at first glance agree with one another. If the lift doesn't calm him, then how is he feeling more at ease? You need a "though" in there, perhaps.
• You also sometimes use turns of phrase out of their intended context. E.g.: "The anger would not subside so quickly, but in the least he would maintain his composure."
  • The "so quickly" implies that you're referencing an earlier sentence where something went quickly. It's comparative: so quickly as X. You probably want something like: "His anger would take a while to subside...."
  • I think you've also misused, "in the least," which is synonymous with "in the slightest." I think you mean "at least."

It made me sad that you made the only female character so far the jittery one

I again appreciate the pointers. Our works are best analyzed by those outside of our own mind. Rose tinted glasses as they say.

I will go through the chapters thus far and try to pick out the mixed tenses. I have been told this before and yet still I fail to keep them from my work.

"Sergeant" is an annoying word to me, as I have been argued as to it's spelling different ways by different people and in different places. I do believe you spell if the proper way, but my mind always fails to keep that proper version in it's files. =P I always just abbreviate it as Sgt. but in a story it's not appropriate and I am left grumbling and moving on.

Finally I want to point out that the member of the team who got the closest to the tervigon was named Fia'Shin and is a female Shas'Ui as well as Endr'Sa. Del'Ru and Fia'Shin were mentioned as the 'new guys' but I was sure to later refer to her as 'her' twice more.

Do not lose heart my fellow Shas!

P.S. All instances of 'sergeant' should have been corrected across all chapters.
Awkward phrases modified for better flow.
Working on tenses.

--OPENING UPLINK TO DATABASE - AUTHORIZATION CODE: ****** --
--AUTHORIZATION CODE VOID. ACCESS GRANTED.--
--WELCOME COMMANDER--

--FILE QUERY, DESIGNATION: TWICE REMOVED: CHAPTER 4--
--PROCESSING...--
--ACCESS FAILED. DATA MOVED--
--CONNECTION CLOSING.--

D'oh! I meant to say Chapter 1.

Nice update Nevar! Although I must mention the issue Didi brought about your tenses. It gets a little confusing when it keeps switching from past to present.


Stuff like that threw me when I first read it. Also, I feel like this chapter could include a little more description of the characters. What do they look like? What color armor do the Rogue Traders men wear, what does it look like? What about the Tau? Any defining physical attributes? These details would help me to get more involved in the story.

Oh and you had mentioned you were looking for a way to put a model in a test tube kind of thing, well look what this guy did with his Dark Mechanicus army. It seems more like he used clear plastic instead of actually filling it with some liquid, but I'm not sure.

I agree with you Wolfs16.

This chapter and chapter 3 were mainly a intermission chapters between the sort of writing I feel more comfortable with. Actions and scene setting seems to flow a little easier for me, but conversation and character development does not. This is an issue in any story as the characters are what bring a reader into the story, were as the setting just sets the mood and the back drop. The honest answer to your point is that the entire tau team hasn't even been thought out yet. I had Shas'Vre Jun'Yin and only him in mind when I wrote the first chapter. The addition of the name Endr'Sa and the brief comment on her was added simply because using 'the Shas'Ui' repeatedly would not work for a member of a six man team. If this was a story of an entire cadre, unnamed Shas'la could run rampant, but unfortunately for me this is the story of my stealth team.

All of the characters have been invented on the spot to fill a need in the team as the story progressed. Ka'Yaden was invented as Jun'Yin made it to the roof top and I needed a Shas'Ui with identity for him to trade quips with. Thus the 'marksman' came to be. There was a 50% chance Del'Ru was going to get killed in Chapter 2. As I was writing it I found the natural flow of the story led to several points where the Shas'Ui could easily get snagged, but eventually decided not to have the random new guy get killed. Especially since to me it seemed very obvious it was going to happen, thus I decided to have him survive chapter 2, and through all that I grew to like the character of Del'Ru I built up in my mind through all of his almost deaths.

My intent with this story is to create some character behind my stealth team, give a face and persona to one of my 'officers' and further develop the feeling of my cadre. Stories like these are fun to write, and also motivate me to make conversions on the standard models to bring these characters I invent to life. I have already started a conversion project to get all six operatives built as counts-as stealth team models. Just waiting on green stuff from the internet and a forgeworld order to come in. Once that all arrives I will have more models to post here as well.

The point of all the above rambling is that I am making this up as I go instead of having anything lined up ahead. If I ever seem to run out of tracks and derail, I appreciate input and comments of all kinds, even negative ones. This story is as much motivated by my own ideas as it is by the comments of you guys. Fia'Shin definitely got further development because Didi et Gogo mentioned how he wanted a less timid female Shas. She already went and poked a tervigon, but her personality came to focus once the need for a stronger female character was pointed out. I will add some more detail to Chapter 4, particularly about the trader troopers, and rest assured you will see further tau character traits being explored in the coming chapter(s).

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