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 Post subject: Fal'shia 9th Mobile Combat / Research Cadre [Background]
PostPosted: Sep 10 2010 11:13 
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Joined: Dec 11 2009 09:51
Location: Canada
Native English speaker?: Yes
Inspiration - Wolfs16's ever evolving ARC-16's, Brokensword's Concise History of Tau'shan, Doombringer's Shan'al Ol'nan


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War breeds technological innovation.

New devices are created with battlefield effectiveness in mind. Some devices focus on efficiency and protecting those within the danger zone, others aim to be more destructive than anything ever seen. Research and Development teams work tirelessly to create weaponry and equipment that will enable them to prevail against their foe. This is the story of one such group and their valiant protectors……


During the development of any equipment, its is inevitable that its developers may be put into a situation where their safety is compromised. When this is the case, the Shas’ar’tol calls upon one of the Cadres specially trained in the protection of the Fire Caste’s assets. The Fal’shia 9th Mobile Combat / Research Cadre is one such group. They were developed after an increased need for technical innovation was seen during the Second Sphere Expansion. The research division of the Cadre is staffed by a full complement of analysts, designers, technicians, and drones to provide the skill necessary to develop new equipment.

Recent History


Ver’da
[95% complete]

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Equatorial Radius: 60,425 km
Gravity: Standard
Atmosphere: Thick
Population: 168,000 [100% Tau]
Type: Temperate, Forest
Satellites: 3
Ver’da is one of the newest colonies established by the Tau Empire. The planet was originally discovered by a Nicassar Dhow, and was marked for further investigation by the Shas’ar’tol.

When the Fal’shia 9th were planetside on the colony world of Ver’da, a Splinter Fleet from the Hive Fleet Behemoth attacked the system. For twenty-five rotaa, wave after wave of Tyranids clashed with the Tau forces. The assault was relentless. With each wave, the hungry tide forced Commander Ta'myr's forces back towards the center of the system. Finally the Cadre was forced to make its stand on Ver’da Prime. During this battle Ta'myr made effective use of the mobility of his forces. He employed a rudimentary form of Mont’ka which involved moving his XV-8’s rapidly across the battlefield, focusing on key targets. The climax of the battle came when the Cadre located the Alpha Y‘he. Rallying his bodyguard, the Commander made a valiant push towards the lumbering beast. Carving their way through the sea slashing appendages, the Commander realized that such an aggressive frontal attack would be suicide. Deciding that discretion was the better part of valor, Ta'myr had one of his guard mark the beast with a prototype Markerlight Tag, allowing the overhead Barracuda fighters to target the creature. Eliminating this synapse creature turned the tide of the battle, as it was shown to cause disarray amongst the enem. Eventually the Tyranids threat was eliminated from the planet with assistance from the Sept world of Bor’kan.

Ryath
[99% complete]

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Equatorial Radius: 98,910 km
Gravity: Standard
Atmosphere: Thick
Population: 58,000 [90% Tau, 10% other]
Type: Temperate, Grassland
Satellites: 1
Ryath is a temperate world from a resource rich system discovered during the third sphere expansion. The Fio Caste has established mines on the planet’s volcanic moon for Iridium used in the production of armour plating. Because of the close orbit of the volcanic moon, the planet is never in total darkness; it is either bathed in daylight, or the fiery light of burning moon.

Following the battle of Ver’da, Ta'myr and his troops were part of a larger contingent sent to Ryath to ascertain the truth behind reports of a device unearthed by Fio Caste archaeologists. Upon arrival, the Cadre found the Fio murdered by a small enclave of Astartes warriors who had claimed the device as their own. While the majority of the force engaged the murderous Space Marines, Commander Ta'myr and a small force pursued their commander through an abandoned temple complex. Despite their numerical advantage, the powerful Marine soon began to eliminate them one by one, his superior skills in battle clearly evident. Finally only Ta'myr stood against the Marine. The two warriors battled atop the windswept parapet of the ruined temple. It was during this epic battle that the ancient device carried by the Astartes began to project a golden shimmer across the surface of his power armor, protecting him from his Commander Ta'myr's attacks. This effect, coupled with his natural combatant skills, forced Ta'myr to reevaluate his position. The veteran Shas was no fool. He knew he could not defeat the warrior, so he chose to eject and auto-destruct his suit; resulting in the collapse of the ruins atop the defiant gue'la warrior. Following his recovery by Tau forces, Ta'myr had the Fio to excavate the ruined structure to search for any remains. While the Earth caste managed to dig out some of the mangled hulk of Ta'myr’s own battlesuit, there was no sign of the Space Marine commander or of the mysterious device excavated from the planet.

Upt
[complete]

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Equatorial Radius:23,090 km
Gravity: Low
Athmosphere: Thin
Population: -none-
Type: Barren
Satelites: 0

Upt is a barren world marked by an Advanced Scout Cadre for possible metallurgical analysis by the Fio. It is located deep within Tau space and as such, is a largely uncontested world.

During a routine scouting mission, the Fal'shia ARC-8's had reported finding an ancient looking vessel half buried under the planets surface. Because of their familiarity with alien devices, the Fal’shia 9th Mobile Combat/Research Cadre were determined to be ideal candidates for further investigation of the wreck. Upon arriving in-system, the Cadre was unable to contact the ARC-8’s; in fact the only sign of the Cadre were the empty cruisers in orbit. Logically deciding to look for any clues on the planet below, Commander Ta’myr led the expedition to the surface. Upon landing, the Fio teams identified the vessel discovered by the ARC-8’s as Necrontyr in origin; a revelation that greatly troubled the Shas’el. As a saal he had heard the tales of what had happened at Ka’mais many Tau’cyr earlier, yet he was bound by a longstanding mandate to acquire alien technologies for the Earth Caste to examine. He decided to continue searching cautiously. Because no sign of the missing Cadre was found on the surface, the teams diverted into the caverns located beneath the vessel. As night fell, Ta’myr waited in the Cadre’s staging area amidst the eerie silence. As search teams had been repeatedly returning and departing into the inky darkness, he paid little heed to any movement outside the light of the command post. One group of Firewarriors did catch his attention though, this group moved strangely ... Stealthily, as if they were tracking something. His interest piqued, he watched one of the silhouetted warriors moved into the light just enough for Ta’myr to see blood streaks on its shoulder. Immediately concerned, he called out to the warrior and moved in its direction. That, was a mistake. Like a cornered animal, the warrior crouched and showed its true form, a Necron Flayed One. As power was cut to the lights, the area was overrun with rushing metal bodies. As the Shas fought, they caught only glimpses of their foe. They could seemingly appear and disappear at will, their metal carapaces illuminated by the brief flashes of pulse fire. The battle was having an obvious effect on the Tau warriors; enough so that Ta’myr was forced to order the Cadre's withdrawl. Luckily the hideous creatures were content to stay on the planet, as no ships followed the Cadre. Among the Tau to perish was Ta’myr’s long-time friend Shas’Vre He’ka, who gave his life in the defense of the departing Manta’s. The Cadre would spend the next few Kai’rotaa rebuilding but would never truly recover from the incident. The slaughter of his forces would also be something that the Commander would never truly put behind him.

Until this time, reports confirm that Upt is still under Kor’vattra blockade.

Cytheria
[75% complete]

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Equatorial Radius: 100,510 km
Gravity: Standard
Atmosphere: Thick
Population: 84,000,000 [85% Human, 12% Tau, 3% other]
Type: Lush, Jungle
Satellites: 1
At the request of the Shas’Ar’tol, Ta'myr led the Fal’shia 9th in securing the planet of Cytheria along with other commanders from Fal’shia and the sept world of Bor’kan. In addition to Commander Ta'myr’s role in the campaign; one of the Cadre’s fire teams, team Bloodfire, was essential in destroying key Gue’la locations.

Has’ara
[10% complete]

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Equatorial Radius: 50,540 km
Gravity: Normal
Atmosphere: Thick
Population: -unknown-
Type: Arid, Rocky
Satellites: None
The Fal’shia 9th are currently field testing new Battlesuit technology on Has‘ara. [INFORMATION CLASSIFIED A-1]




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Shas’El Ta'myr

(aka Soulblade)

[60% complete]

"No one wants enemies. But enemies force us to reach beyond ourselves…... to find courage we did not know we possessed."
- Commander Soulblade

Given Names: Eio Lynu Ta’myr
Serial Number: F’S-1D221//9-05831
Caste/Rank: Shas’El
Age: 35 tc
Place of Birth: Fal’shia Prime
Known Kin: [none]

A true son of Fal’shia, Shas’El Eio Lynu Ta’myr plays directly into the ‘problem solver’ stereotype associated the planets natives. He has demonstrated great resourcefulness in leading the Fal’shia 9th Mobile Combat/Research Cadre over his time as its commander. Throughout his long career, he has seen almost thirty tau’cyr of gruelling warfare. Yet he shows no signs of slowing and can easily hold his own against warriors half his age.

As a Saal, Ta’myr was known for his physical prowess and was regarded as a triumph of the selective breeding program. During his training, he consistently ranked highest in physical challenges, going so far as to break his instructor’s leg and fracture his ribs during one training exercise. Despite his physical prowess, he constantly struggled to understand the more advanced battlefield tactics taught by his instructors. As a result of his lower that average tactical acumen his instructors directed him to focus on his martial skills, resulting in one of Fal’shia’s most proficient warriors.

Reports of his physical accomplishments brought him to the attention of Shas’El Elro Gal Or’es who requested his transfer to the Fal’shia ARC-9‘s. During his time serving as part of the Cadre, Ta’myr saw action on many worlds. Of note were his actions on T’roi, where the planets vicious jungles acted as a literal proving ground for him. His time there changed him profoundly; he had finally begun to understand tactics that his instructors had drilled into him as a ‘saal. After being extracted form T’roi he was granted the name Ta’myr for his fierce determination; a determination that issued forth from the soul of the now battle-hardened warrior. After proving himself in battle further, was given advanced training as an XV-8 pilot. Eventually, he joined Shas’El Or’es in the Ta'lissera ritual and became one of his bodyguards. After the death of Commander Or’es, the Cadre was re-organised into the Fal’shia 9th Mobile Combat/Research Cadre and the now promoted Ta’myr was given the responsibility of leading the Cadre.

Appearance
Shas’El Ta’myr is large for a Tau, he stands a head taller than most other fire caste warriors and exhibits greater strength and superior reflexes. He wears a long white topknot off the left side of his head which is banded by four clasps denoting his rank. His body is crisscrossed by countless scars, accompanied by a replacement prosthetic for his right eye - a gruesome reminder of hard-learned lessons. Upon completion of his Fire Caste training he had a Kroot shaman tattoo a stylized image of a T‘pel shark onto the back of his neck, a mark he still bares as a sign of his courage and strength.

Personality
Although he may seem stoic at times, Ta’myr is not without a sense of humour. He cares deeply for those serving under his command and values warriors that can think for themselves more than anything. Although he has had his long and successful career he is extremely modest has a great loyalty to his comrades; being exceptionally loyal to those he values as friends.

Sub-Commander Da’Suam

(aka Shadowforge)

[65% complete]


“Though I strike from the shadows, do not think I lack the courage to stand in the light. “
- Sub-Commander Shadowforge

Given Names: Elan Da’Suam
Serial Number: F‘S-1X12//9-97344
Caste/Rank: Shas’Vre
Age: 21 tc
Place of Birth: Fal’a
Known Kin: Shas’El Kau’ui [Uncle], Shas’Vre Lisseri [Mother], Shas’Ui Tak [Brother]

The polar opposite to Shas’el Ta’myr’s caring attitude, Shas’vre Da’Suam is cold and distant. Da’Suam has much less moral content than his Commander; a fact that can sometimes put the two at odds. Because he realizes that others find his callous attitude to be disconcerting, he usually operate as a Monat. In this role he can continuously monitor the battlefield situation and focus his attention on areas that need to be reinforced.

Despite his social failings, Da’Suam is very good at what he does. He has spent the majority of his life in Battlesuits of various design, and is regarded as one of the Cadre’s most experienced pilots. He is a cunning fighter and prefers to use stealth and surprise to give himself the advantage whenever possible.

Appearance
Average height for a warrior, he is slightly heavier-set than most. His left arm was long ago replaced by a prosthetic after a battle with Orks. He usually avoids the standard uniform typical of Battlesuit pilots, preferring to wear only a simple pair of leggings and a torso plate when in battle.

Personality
Shas’vre Da’Suam is a gruff, no-nonsense soldier. He is a very goal driven individual, almost to the point of being psychopathic. He always places the success of the mission as top priority and rarely pays attention to how many soldiers he looses in the process, feeling that it is all justified in the furtherance of the Greater Good. Da’Suam is extremely confident in his own abilities, especially his skill as battlesuit pilot.





Aun’Vre Li'Sun'yi
[30% complete]


“Mourn not for us, for we have known the light,
We have looked upon its beauty.
Grieve for those who are alone, unclear,
Those who die in darkness, never having seen or known the light of the Tau’va”

- Li’Sun’yi

Given Name: Li’Sun’yi
Serial Number: [none]
Caste/Rank: Aun’Vre
Age: [unknown]
Place of Birth: Fal’shia Prime
Known Kin: [unknown]

Like all members of the Ethereal caste, very little is known of Aun‘Vre Li‘Sun‘yi. She works closely with the Fio’an’tol of Fal’shia, directing their research in the direction that will most help the furtherance of the Tau’va. She is still relatively young for an Aun of her position. As is the case with all members of the mysterious Ethereal caste, she is extremely wise. She has a diverse array of skills that make her irreplaceable to her superiors. She acts as the personal envoy of the Ethereal Council to Fal’shia, carrying its decrees to the other four castes of that planet. As the emissary of the council she is often required to visit the different Caste academies, instructing the young saals as to the edicts of the Greater Good.

Even though she may appear to focus on the gentler side of the Empire, Li’Sun’yi is highly talented in the use of the honour Blade. When duelling she finds a peace of mind that allows here to focus clearly on the path of the Tau’va. She often trains in combat with the Fire Caste, duelling with members of its elite upper echelons.

Appearance
Exceedingly beautiful, Aun Li’Sun’yi is a Tau of small stature. She usually wears her hair loosely off the back of her head and chooses loose clothing allowing her a great deal of mobility.

Personality
Even though she is still young, Li’Sun’yi has shown much wisdom in directing the progress of the Fal‘shia Fio‘an‘tol. This wisdom has garnered her the respect of all, especially Shas’El Ta'myr. In the same way the esteemed Aun’Shi respected the warriors of Vior‘la, she has a great respect for Fal’shia’s Commanders and their warriors, even choosing their company over that of members of other Castes.




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Fleet Commander Shas'ka'nan

(aka Starlance)

[30% complete]


"I've seen things you wouldn't believe, young one. I’ve journeyed through the darkness between the most distant stars. I’ve seen great ships burning off the edge of the Perdus Rift, frozen corpses glittering in the darkness along the Damocles Gulf, all those moments are burned into my mind."
- Fleet Commander Starlance

Given Names: Shovah Kor Shas'ka'nan
Serial Number: F‘S-K5//23321
Caste/Rank: Kor’El
Age: 33 tc
Place of Birth: FSO//SX-74/1
Known Kin: Kor’’Vre Anuk [Brother], Kor’O O'suam [Father]

Kor’El Fal’shia Shovah Shas’ka’nan comes from a very long line of distinguished pilots, and he himself has an ace record to prove it. During his time studying at the Kor Academy he regularly distressed his instructors by executing manoeuvres that pushed his spacecraft well beyond their usual limits. After his training he was stationed under the watchful eye of Kor’El Anuk who endeavoured to rid him of his reckless attitude. Eventually, he succeeded to the point where the young Kor was placed in command of his own squadron of Barracuda’s. Following the death of the previous ranking Kor, he was named Fleet Commander of the Fal‘shia 5th Expeditionary Group.

Now in his twilight years, Shas’ka’nan is usually never far from his command center - spending endless decs slumped at his command post with a cup of Pech café. Despite his age he maintains a keen mind and is renowned for his tactical knowledge.

Appearance
Average height for a ‘Kor caste pilot, Shas’ka’nan has developed a slight stoop to his lanky frame over his time as a Fleet Officer. He is rarely ever seen without a cup pf Pech café more that an arms length away.

Personality
A determined Fleet Commander, Shas’ka’nan makes sure he is involved in almost every aspect of fleet operations. He is aware that the smallest mistake can betray the location of fleet assets to enemies or leave Commander Soulblade’s cadre without vital supplies.



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Chief He'bentu

"It is my nature to question. Unthinking obedience is fine for a warrior, but I must question - or be worth nothing."
- Chief He’bentu

Given Names: He’bentu B’gal
Serial Number: F‘S-1FCU113//9-89125
Caste/Rank: Fio’O
Age: 23 tc
Place of Birth: Fal’a
Known Kin: Fio’La Doran [Son], Fio’Vre Kaara [Spouse]

Fio’O He’bentu B’gal is a Fio with a brilliance that borders on genius (as any Fio should). He possesses a highly inquisitive mind and is constantly striving to improve and fine-tune designs. To date, he is the youngest known Fio caste member to begin active service. By the time other Fio’saal’s were finishing there education, he had already outlined an improved fuel management matrix for the Barracuda, and was drafting schematics for a new drone intelligence.

Formerly a data analyst and designer, Chief He’bentu became the Lead Director of the research division of the. Fal’shia 9th when the former director retired. He is responsible for the oversight and development of all projects within the cadre. His work on vehicle modification has had vital importance in the progressive development of Tau flyers such as the Barracuda and Tigershark. His designs have a long running reputation for reliability.

Appearance
As a member of the Earth Caste, Chief He’bentu is a thickly built Tau who is never seen without his entourage of drones. Looking dishevelled most of the time, He’bentu focuses on his work and gives little thought to his appearance.

Personality
To many, Chief He’bentu seems very eccentric. He often stops mid-sentence to wander off and enter ideas into his recording drone. He has a very temperamental personality and does not stand for failure, either his own or that of the personnel serving under him. Despite his temperament, he is considered one of the greatest Fio assets in the Empire. His research is far ahead of that of his colleagues - not just the ones on Fal’shia, but across the entire Tau Empire.





Shaper Lord Orjek Vak


<< This galaxy hides many secrets - there is a danger in these secrets, both in knowing and in seeking. Some secrets should remain untouched.>>
- Shaper Lord Orjek Vak

Given Names: Orjek Vak
Serial Number: [none]
Caste/Rank: - ‘El [approximate rank]
Age: 110 tc
Place of Birth: Pech
Known Kin: Shaper Dromu [Brother], Korta Vak [Brother]

Shaper Lord of the Blood Quill Kindred, Orjek Vak is a venerable Kroot Lord. During his younger years Orjek earned the respect of the kindred by participating in many of the ceremonial hunts into the depths of Pech‘s jungles. During these hunts he saw firsthand the monstrosities that could result from a poor choices in the genetic development of his race. During his own time serving as a Shaper, Vak displayed a keen eye in selecting genetic material for the kindred’s consumption. He further garnered the respect and trust of his companions by regularly placing himself in harm’s way to protect his brothers. Now in his twilight years, he is notably quieter - as if conserving his strength to weather some oncoming storm on the horizon

In addition to Vak’s natural leadership skills, he is known to demonstrate Psycic power equal to that of an Imperial Zeta level psyker. Curiously though, his power levels seem directly related to his surroundings. He manifests greater power when in an area that is full of natural life - almost as if he draws his power directly from a surrounding ecosystem. His powers range from a strong empathic ability, to foresight and prediction. Occasionally the Kroot warriors will also tell tales of their Shaper being able to control the very plant life around him; commanding the jungle to grow unnaturally and envelop enemy forces.

Appearnce
Orjek is average height for a Kroot, though you would never know it. Rarely standing at his full height, his shoulders are perpetually slumped as if the weight of the entire galaxy weighs on his shoulders. He wears the loose robes of a Shaper Lord which are decorated by countless totems and runes. He is never seen without his one constant companion, a massive black Kroothawk.

Personality
Shaper Lord Orjek Vak is known for his wisdom and patience which tempers the fiery nature of many of the kindred’s younger warriors. During his course as a liaison between the Kindred and the Tau Empire, Vak has developed a reputation as a wise advisor. He has earned the respect of many Fire caste commanders for his legendary wisdom.



So basically what I'm looking for is areas to improve upon. I know almost zero about the 40k universe, so I humbly ask that you are patient with me. Also any help with the fluff would be appreciated!

I'll be adding more if there seems to be any interest .......

- null

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Last edited by Null on Dec 16 2010 08:53, edited 13 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Fal'shia 9th Mobile Combat / Research Cadre [Background]
PostPosted: Sep 11 2010 12:43 
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*Interest right here!

Very clear an concise introduction. I love the pictures you've gotten; mind telling me the source?
Well-written fluff, the part about his bionic eyes seems a little off though.. IMHO it could use some more exposition, like this:
Quote:
His body is crisscrossed by countless scars, accompanied by a replacement prosthetic for his right eye - a gruesome reminder of hard-learned lessons on T'roi.

Anyways that's my opinion..
Like I said, I would look forward to seeing more of this. The layout is really good; like I said earlier, clear and concise. I may have to imitate you...

By the way: if you look above the text box when you're posting/editing, you'll see a small rectangle with "hr" inside it. That's the horizontal rule button, it looks like this:



Very handy replacement for a line of underscores. ;) It creates the equivalent of one blank line immeadiately below so space it like this:
[Text]
[Blank]
[Horizontal Rule]
[Text]
To get everything looking even.

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 Post subject: Re: Fal'shia 9th Mobile Combat / Research Cadre [Background]
PostPosted: Sep 11 2010 07:15 
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You are progressing well my young padawan! :D

I really liked what you have set up here. The pictures of those planets is amazing and really adds life to the text! I also like the idea of a cadre used specifically to test special weapons. I think it really fits the Fal'shia culture that you have described here (I hope to flesh out Sa'cean's a bit more in my own fluff).

As for the fiction itself, I felt like you did a great job keeping things inside the 40K universe, despite your lack of knowledge. I do agree with Jester's points as well (he is usually right about this kind of stuff ;) ). There is one thing though. On Ryath, Astartes claimed an artifact as their own and murdered the Fio team. Okay, that fits the Space Marine vibe well. And it actually gives your cadre the option of having an "arch enemy" as it were. Maybe you should give the Marines a name? Also, it is mentioned that Soulblade killed the Chapter Master. Well a Chapter Maser is usually going to be seen with a lot of military might surrounding him, so it doesn't seem to fit that there would only be a small enclave of Marines protecting him. At least a Company would seem more likely. Also, Chapter Masters are HARD CORE. So just remember that when you are fighting Marines that even half a Tactical Squad tore an entire Line Cadre apart in Doombringers fiction (I think he has a good balance of Marine uber-ness). So while it is totally okay to fight Marines and win (even killing the Chapter Master), just remember that it would be super hard to do.

Also, you mention destroying their fortress monastery. Was that their home planet? It seems odd that they would have an already established and heavily fortified structure there.

P.S. I suddenly have a lot of ideas for a Marine Chapter that could prove to be a regular thorn in the side of your cadre.... What ideas did you have with these guys?

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 Post subject: Re: Fal'shia 9th Mobile Combat / Research Cadre [Background]
PostPosted: Sep 11 2010 10:16 
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Thanks!

@Millitant.Jester
: Great ideas! Thanks for the heads up on the 'hotizontal rule'. I was looking for that but I don't really know much about formatting posts and stuff ....... Also, thanks again for the Avatar edit :biggrin: .

@ Wolfs16: You honor me master. Good points! For the Astarte, I was going for Chapter Master vs Soulblade to make him seem HARD CORE :) ! I think I'll change that around a bit. Doh! I was hoping no one was gonna pick up on the Fortress Monastery thing....... As for Ideas about the Space Marines; not too much. I'm a fan of Raven Guard, so I was thinking of using them :? , not sure though.

@ Everybody, Anybody, Somebody
: The images are all public access images found on Google. Just search Planet Wallpapers of Planet Artwork. (The images were really inspired by Brokenswords Tau'shan, I really like the way he used images to give his post some flair)

- null

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 Post subject: Re: Fal'shia 9th Mobile Combat / Research Cadre [Background]
PostPosted: Sep 11 2010 02:25 
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Well thought out. Rich with detail and specific information. Like the details we paint on the minis add to the overall appearance of the army so do your details of the story add to the overall believability of the fluff. I liked your incorporation of the Commander's Ta'lissera ritual with his commanding officer after his "trial by fire" in the jungles. It's very true to the Tau way. Well done.

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 Post subject: Re: Fal'shia 9th Mobile Combat / Research Cadre [Background]
PostPosted: Sep 11 2010 10:11 
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No worries about the Marine confusion. You can totally have your commander kill a Chapter Master, but it's just that it is a difficult thing to do. Perhaps your commander did something like destroy a structure the Chapter Master was in and he was presumed dead. But when the Fio work crews cleaned the area up, no trace of the body was found...

Hmm, PM me and we will discuss these Marines further if you wish. :crafty:

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 Post subject: Re: Fal'shia 9th Mobile Combat / Research Cadre [Background]
PostPosted: Sep 11 2010 10:39 
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Null, I don't know if using the Raven Guard is a good idea... they're a pretty well known chapter. Maybe killing a captain would be cool, but the Chapter Master? The Raven Guard is a very well-known chapter: they're one of the original Legions, have a special character in the current codex, and a lot of background.

What I'm saying is: there's a good chance their Chapter Master will be mentioned at some point in the fluff, or some other problem would appear.
I would suggest choosing a different, lesser-known chapter. At the same time, people are irritated when you entirely make up a chapter, so choose one that's not mentioned very frequently, but still mentioned - preferably in a really cool way, to make a good starting point for whatever fluff you may choose to write about them fighting your Tau.
For instance: the White Scars, one of the coolest chapters there is (and I don't like Space Marines, so that's a big deal, coming from me) are fairly detailed, but not so much that you can't kill off a few major players. They are masters of hit-and-run warfare, so you could have some cool battles against Tau, as the combat doctrines are similar. Also, they have a major rivalry with the Raven Guard, so you could still involve them if you want.
For further reading:

[Lexicanum Article: White Scars]
[Lexicanum Article: List of Space Marine Chapters]

One final note on White Scars: It's entirely conceivable that you could catch the Chapter Master with a very small retinue, as the White Scars have a gene problem and thus are always short of troops (see article). Besides, the Chapter Master is supposed to be able to take care of himself, right?
I guess there's more info on them than I originally thought... oh well, they're still really cool and have a lot of parallels to Tau!

And again, I was happy to help with your avatar! :D But it's always good to be appreciated. :crafty:

EDIT: Apparently I was reading from the Raven Guard article instead of the White Scars article for some of that. It's the Raven Guard, not White Scars, who have the gene problem. Other than that, what I said was correct. Sorry!

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 Post subject: Re: Fal'shia 9th Mobile Combat / Research Cadre [Background]
PostPosted: Sep 12 2010 08:26 
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@ Bonsai Master: Thanks, I really appreciate it! :biggrin:

@ Wolfs16: Yes Master. Your totally right, maybe not a Chapter Master then ........... (I like the way you put a bit of suspense in there)

@ Militant.Jester: ARRRGGHH! Why does 40k fluff have to be so difficult :( !! Just Kidding :D . Thanks for the input man, and thanks for those links. *runs of to rewrite some fluff*

- null

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 Post subject: Re: Fal'shia 9th Mobile Combat / Research Cadre [Background]
PostPosted: Sep 13 2010 01:45 
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Might I say that your fluff was a tasteful morsel for the fiction-hungry part of my brian, Null? Most interresting read, and I had to chuckle a bit on the part;
Quote:
"Victory was assured when Commander Soulblade and a specially trained ad-hoc team hunted down and dispatched the a fairly-important-but-not-too-important, nothing-like-say-a-Chapter-Master-or-anything-but-something-like-a-captain-kind-of-character"

Gue'la Space Marines are thougher then nails, they can endure a great amount of punishment/injuries to their bodies, whilst their Chapter Masters.. well, Marneus Calgar -I know, I know- has quite an impressive achievement record of his own; he lead the breaching assault on the Tyranid Hive Ship Behemoth Primus, single-handedly held the gate against an Ork Horde for a night and a day at the Siege of Zalathrax, defeated an Eldar Avatar in single-handed combat, thus leading to the rout of Eldar forces at the Battle for Orar's Sepulchre, and recaptured the star fort Indomitable from the daemonic hordes of M'kar the Reborn. -Chapter Masters get thougher with Tactical Dreadnought Armour, and go Nuts when being interred in Dreadnought Armour, you see..-

Like it that you have a Shas'El originating from Fal'shia. In my fluff -which you by the way can read here;http://advancedtautactica.com/viewtopic.php?f=35&t=16435- My Shas'el also hails from Fal'shia. Hey, maybe they went to the same military academy? :smile: Looking forward to read more fluff. You clearly have a talent for good writing!

Cheers, FI

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 Post subject: Re: Fal'shia 9th Mobile Combat / Research Cadre [Background]
PostPosted: Sep 15 2010 11:20 
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@ FerrumIgnatus: Thanks man! I really like your stuff :biggrin: .

OK. I Added a couple more characters, and fluffed out the fluff a bit. I want to thank Wolfs16 for help with the fluff about Ryath, and thank Militant.Jester for the help with my scatterbrained Photoshop questions :P .

I have a few questions for you guys; (1) I use Tau names for some characters, and English names for other characters in my fluff. Does it make it more confusing ? Should I focus on using one or the other? (2) It was really hard to write the fluff for my Ethereal, has anyone read any good Bio's on Ethereals?

Thanks for looking guys

- null

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 Post subject: Re: Fal'shia 9th Mobile Combat / Research Cadre [Background]
PostPosted: Sep 15 2010 03:25 
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(1) I think that mixing is not that confusing. The key is to make sure that the audience is readily able to tell that two names that refer to the same character. If the audience isn't easily able to tell, for example, that Hesperus and Phosphorus* are both names that refer to the same character, then they're going to get confused. It's been a while since I've read your fluff - and I'm sitting in class right now (shhhhhh!) - so I don't remember if you do confuse things anywhere, but I'll throw this out there anyway.

(2) As for the ethereal fluff? Try reading Shas'el Tael's Counterpoint, which has some good incidental fluff constructed around ethereals. In truth, though, there is little in the way of canonic interpretations of the Auns' lives. It's up for invention. Still, there is another thread around here that might provide some inspiration or a starting point. Doombringer and have commented in it about Ethereal life, and they've got some really well-thought out interpretations, but I am about to leave class so I won't find the thread in time. Or will I...? I will, here is is - it seems I even started the thread!: How do Ethereals Live?


*I love "Hesperus is Phosphorus" as a philosophically illustrative device, and couldn't help but use it here.

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 Post subject: Re: Fal'shia 9th Mobile Combat / Research Cadre [Background]
PostPosted: Sep 15 2010 04:21 
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1)I, for one, love to read fluff that has certain lines with Tau language in it, in order toget the reader more into the "Tau side" of the story. It can be as simple as exchanging a few words in english to Tau in order to create a certain.. well, can't exactly put my words on it, but to me, as a reader, I get more "personal" with a story if it has its own words "woven" into the text. -I am repeating myself, right?-

2)For the Ethereals.. well.. just think of something. The Ethereals are the spiritual -and maybe even mind-scrubbing- leaders of the Tau Empire, and the best and most original fluff is usually a well thought through fluff. :smile:

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 Post subject: Re: Fal'shia 9th Mobile Combat / Research Cadre [Background]
PostPosted: Sep 15 2010 09:21 
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Thanks for the replies guys!

I have to apologies though, I had not stated the question about the naming properly - thus it was misconstrued. Edited my previous post to represent the question more clearly.

As for my Ethereal problem, I'll defiantly read Counterpoint, Thanks Didi et Gogo! And yeah, I think you might be right FerrumIgnatus I probably just need to think it over more .....

Thanks again for the responses guys

- null

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 Post subject: Re: Fal'shia 9th Mobile Combat / Research Cadre [Background]
PostPosted: Sep 15 2010 10:33 
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1)
This is a question that has often bugged me, I've decided that, under more formal circumstances, I would use the Tau name, and in battle/informal conversation, I would use the English translation. Hope that helps!

2)
Erhm, I have a lot of ideas, but I can't recall any bios I've read that would help.

I like the graphics you've made! You are learning the ways of the Photoshop well, my Padawan. :D

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 Post subject: Re: Fal'shia 9th Mobile Combat / Research Cadre [Background]
PostPosted: Sep 15 2010 10:38 
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Ninja'd by Jester! I really like his practical response - it makes good sense to me to split up the naming that way.

(1) It is a little confusing how you've done it, but not really terrible or anything. The fluff is all understandable (and enjoyable) with the mix of names. My personal preference is to use Tau names as much as possible, but include the reasons for the main characters being so-named. Given that Tau get their names from particularly notable events in their personal history, and that their names continue to grow as they live on, it can actually add a lot to the story to have your main characters' defining moments explained by their name.

...and now I've totally deviated from the question asked. :P

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 Post subject: Re: Fal'shia 9th Mobile Combat / Research Cadre [Background]
PostPosted: Sep 16 2010 09:45 
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Very nice background Null! The additions are great and really help to add character to your cadre. Oh and that intro graphic looks great!

Jester's suggestion for Tau/English names is good and won't be confusing. As long as you make it clear who it is referring to for each name.

As for the Ethereal bio, your stuff is really good as is. Just remember, Ethereal's carry on their shoulders the full burden of the Greater Good. Their edicts change and shape the galaxy (at least the Tau part ;) ). That also means that their decisions often cost several Tau lives. Think of the trust put into an Ethereal: any Tau would gladly follow their lead, even if it means death. From their youth on, an Ethereal knows their role in the Empire. Every decision they make must advance the Greater Good, lest all Tau fall back into The Terror, the Mont'au.

One suggestion, whenever you update your first post, why not include the updated info in your latest post as well. I find it difficult to find the new info at times. Oh and the Ryath stuff is good! I'm curious where it will go!

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 Post subject: Re: Fal'shia 9th Mobile Combat / Research Cadre [Background]
PostPosted: Sep 16 2010 10:36 
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@ Militant.Jester: Alright man, good Points! I bow to your greater wisdom ........ ;) (You'll see I changed the names to Tau-speek)
Quote:
I like the graphics you've made! You are learning the ways of the Photoshop well, my Padawan.
:biggrin:

@ Didi et Gogo: No worries man, any pointers are more than welcome! Thanks!

@ Wolfs16: Thank you! I'll try to wrap my head around the posting thingy......you mean like this:



Image


Chief He'bentu
(55% complete)


"It is my nature to question. Unthinking obedience is fine for a warrior, but I must question - or be worth nothing."
- Chief He’bentu

Given Names: He’bentu B’gal
Serial Number: F‘S-1FCU113//9-89125
Caste/Rank: Fio’O
Age: 23 tc
Place of Birth: Fal’a
Known Kin: Fio’La Doran [Son], Fio’Vre Kaara [Spouse]

Fio’O He’bentu B’gal is a Fio with a brilliance that borders on genius (as any Fio should). He possesses a highly inquisitive mind and is constantly striving to improve and fine-tune designs. To date, he is the youngest known Fio caste member to begin active service. By the time other Fio’saal’s were finishing there education, he had already outlined an improved fuel management matrix for the Barracuda, and was drafting schematics for a new drone intelligence.

Formerly a data analyst and designer, Chief He’bentu became the Lead Director of the research division of the. Fal’shia 9th when the former director retired. He is responsible for the oversight and development of all projects within the cadre. His work on vehicle modification has had vital importance in the progressive development of Tau flyers such as the Barracuda and Tigershark. His designs have a long running reputation for reliability.

Appearance
As a member of the Earth Caste, Chief He’bentu is a thickly built Tau who is never seen without his entourage of drones. Looking dishevelled most of the time, He’bentu focuses on his work and gives little thought to his appearance.

Personality
To many, Chief He’bentu seems very eccentric. He often stops mid-sentence to wander off and enter ideas into his recording drone. He has a very temperamental personality and does not stand for failure, either his own or that of the personnel serving under him. Despite his temperament, he is considered one of the greatest Fio assets in the Empire. His research is far ahead of that of his colleagues - not just the ones on Fal’shia, but across the entire Tau Empire.

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 Post subject: Re: Fal'shia 9th Mobile Combat / Research Cadre [Background]
PostPosted: Sep 17 2010 01:08 
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What, no Demiurg? Every Research Cadre needs a Demiurg.. it's how we got the lovely Ion Cannon to play with! Honestly, He'Bentu's personality sounds pretty much like a scientist.

"Yes, Shas'el, I will be done with the modifications on your battlesuit in just a few Dec. It's simply a question about recongifureing the present.." The squattish tau wanders off, leaving the Shas'el standing dumbfolded behind, whilst the recording droid accompanying He'Bentu processes and stores his muttered words containing new ideas to Drone AI schematics to Stealth Field Generator enhancements.

Please forgive me for being a bit carried away by He'Bentu's background which inspired me to write a line of fluff.. :nice:

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 Post subject: Re: Fal'shia 9th Mobile Combat / Research Cadre [Background]
PostPosted: Sep 17 2010 11:10 
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Null :
Great work on this project so far! Hope you don't mind the slight relocation...

- Kor'Vre SpartanTau

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 Post subject: Re: Fal'shia 9th Mobile Combat / Research Cadre [Background]
PostPosted: Sep 17 2010 09:58 
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@FerrumIgnatus: Oh there will be Demiurg my freind, there will indeed be Demiurg!

@SpartanTau: Thanks :biggrin: !



I though you guys might like to read a bit about the planet 'Upt', so here we go! (Much help courtesy of Militant.Jester. Thanks man!)

Upt

Equatorial Radius:23,090 km
Gravity: Low
Athmosphere: Thin
Population: -none-
Type: Barren
Satelites: 0

Upt is a barren world marked by an Advanced Scout Cadre for possible metallurgical analysis by the Fio. It is located deep within Tau space and as such, is a largely uncontested world.

During a routine scouting mission, the Fal'shia ARC-8's had reported finding an ancient looking vessel half buried under the planets surface. Because of their familiarity with alien devices, the Fal’shia 9th Mobile Combat/Research Cadre were determined to be ideal candidates for further investigation of the wreck. Upon arriving in-system, the Cadre was unable to contact the ARC-8’s; in fact the only sign of the Cadre were the empty cruisers in orbit. Logically deciding to look for any clues on the planet below, Commander Ta’myr led the expedition to the surface. Upon landing, the Fio teams identified the vessel discovered by the ARC-8’s as Necrontyr in origin; a revelation that greatly troubled the Shas’el. As a saal he had heard the tales of what had happened at Ka’mais many Tau’cyr earlier, yet he was bound by a longstanding mandate to acquire alien technologies for the Earth Caste to examine. He decided to continue searching cautiously. Because no sign of the missing Cadre was found on the surface, the teams diverted into the caverns located beneath the vessel. As night fell, Ta’myr waited in the Cadre’s staging area amidst the eerie silence. As search teams had been repeatedly returning and departing into the inky darkness, he paid little heed to any movement outside the light of the command post. One group of Firewarriors did catch his attention though, this group moved strangely ... Stealthily, as if they were tracking something. His interest piqued, he watched one of the silhouetted warriors moved into the light just enough for Ta’myr to see blood streaks on its shoulder. Immediately concerned, he called out to the warrior and moved in its direction. That, was a mistake. Like a cornered animal, the warrior crouched and showed its true form, a Necron Flayed One. As power was cut to the lights, the area was overrun with rushing metal bodies. As the Shas fought, they caught only glimpses of their foe. They could seemingly appear and disappear at will, their metal carapaces illuminated by the brief flashes of pulse fire. The battle was having an obvious effect on the Tau warriors; enough so that Ta’myr was forced to order the Cadre's withdrawl. Luckily the hideous creatures were content to stay on the planet, as no ships followed the Cadre. Among the Tau to perish was Ta’myr’s long-time friend Shas’Vre He’ka, who gave his life in the defense of the departing Manta’s. The Cadre would spend the next few Kai’rotaa rebuilding but would never truly recover from the incident. The slaughter of his forces would also be something that the Commander would never truly put behind him.

Until this time, reports confirm that Upt is still under Kor’vattra blockade.




So any thoughts?

- null

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Last edited by Null on Sep 30 2010 06:26, edited 1 time in total.

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